Life on the Farm is Kinda Laid Back...

Subj: Life on the Farm is Kinda Laid Back...
Date: 09/19/95
From: El Polvo  

Dear Chester, Here's that letter I promised you the other day: 1. I've got a few things to say about the smallness of rural life, For obvious reasons, they's not a lot of variety or change in sparsely populated rural areas. What variety or change that does appear is not well appreciated. Don't do anything that would offend John Wayne and you'll get along jus' fine. Don't get any big ideas or people will say, "WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?" 2. flying planes with keyboards, That's not flying planes, that's playing video games. If that's what you want, ok, but video games operate on quarters (mebbe use 20 or 30 of 'em up in a hour). Airplanes cost two hunnerd times that much per hour and more. Three hours of flying planes, and I've paid for the software, the flight yoke and the rudder pedals altogether. I've made at least 40 IFR approaches down to minimums, got in eight hours of night landings and takeoffs, made numerous carrier landings, practiced at least 50 x-wind landings at just a little more than the plane can handle. I haven't been in a real plane for at least eight years but feel confident enough to hop in and fly away with my family on board right now. I've had more than 3,000 hours in these kind of planes and I can tell you that MS Flight Simulator 5.1 provides a very accurate representation of the Cessna's flight characteristics and is about 20 times better than a flight simulator built by Cessna that I used to pay $25 an hour to fly. The program doesn't have any battle missions to fly but I ain't no military pilot and I ain't playin' no video games. I don't know why I landed on the carrier, I think I just like boats. (I had to add in some headwind to get the Learjet down on it.) 3. writing, Ol' Gordon Solberg, alias Randy Vandela, down in Radium Springs, NM is gonna start back up publishin' the DRY COUNTRY NEWS. He wants me to write some funny stuff to go in it. I told him I gave up that humor crap but he didn't believe me. What'll I do? 4. crayons on the Internet Now here's something worth 15 or even 30 minutes of your paid on-line time. Go on the World Wide Web to: Now there's a newspaper. 5. and road trips to Montana. I'm getting this wanting disease again. I'm wanting to buy a new Van. If I can't shake the disease, we might be coming up in the Van instead of the Lexus. I don't know when or in what but watch out 'cuz we'll be bringing some BIG IDEAS and Kathleen will be TALKING REAL LOUD. Mr. Dillon