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Date: Fri, 26 Jan 1996 01:47:13 -0500
To: elpolvo
Subject: zarathustra

Dear Dusty,

We went over to just be with the kids and to assure them we will do all we can to get them back here and into school. Right now they are living on the estate of a wealthy woman named Lori who was frank with us about her supporting Cai and the children in exchange for my kids being playmates for her son. You could say they're being used as rent. It's a bed and breakfast place for people into yoga and maybe tantric sex. Lori is a teacher in the subject, there's a video tape out on the subject advertised in Yoga Journal in which her approach is included. She is taking a doctorate in human sexuality. Called Hale Okua, there's swimming, sunbathing, yoga, breathing exercises, chanting, it's a clothing optional place where the three children go naked among the adults. We feel the kids are at risk in this environment because of the nature of the theme of the place and Cristina moving into the outfield of puberty. Also they are not going to school aside from tutoring their mother talks about nor do they have friends their own age there other than the woman's son. They are exposed to only one way of life, one religion and philosophy, one way of nutrition, one spiritual reference as far as I can see. Sort of lymphatic newagitis, Cai making her decisions regarding her life and the kids' on information that comes to her in chanting. meditation and perhaps channeling. Cai had Cristina on a salad-only diet while we were there and was dressing her in spider webs and wheat chaff. She could be creating eating disorders since any time Cristina puts on any fat her mother slaps her on a semi-starvation diet. In this environment given the situation right now it wouldn't take much to turn Cristina anorexic.

The second day we were in Maui we sat down with Cai, the four of us, I asked her to listen to the children's wishes about returning with us. When Cristina said she wanted to finish school her mother said that'd mean she'd have to stay with us till she finished high school. I told her it meant no such thing, it was to complete the school year for four and a half months. When Zachary told her he wanted to come back with us to complete school she told him that was not what he had told her two days before when he said he didn't like school and that it was boring. Marilyn replied that a lot of kids his age don't like school but you don't not send kids to school because they don't like it. The family meeting came to nothing for she worked the kids' words around till they were so confused they wouldn't talk. When I later showed Grace Cai a copy of a contract she had signed June 20th, 1995 to have the kids with us till the end of school in May she tore it to pieces and said it was a lie. When I said that shared custody means the parents make joint decisions affecting the children she said she alone knows what is best for them.

Until we have sole custody she'll toy with us as she has for four years and go on making decisions not in the best interests of the children but exploiting them for getting what she wants from life without working. She tells us that she is on a spiritual path and in direct communication with the Archangel Ariel who tells her what to do, advises her, and gives her insight. That is fine for her, but I don't want an Archangel deciding what is best for our children, that needs to be left to less etheric intelligences. I want the children to learn all sorts of ways and ideas and religions and ways of living and looking at life, I want them to have their feet firmly planted on the ground and to be able to live in mainstream, society and not just stretch and hum their way through life. I want them to eat all foods, not just what is determined to be best for spiritual growth because everything is spiritual and there is no one way to live it, no one food that brings or sustains it, no chant that formalizes it, no sexual expression that is more of it than any other. Life is spiritual as is everyone in it and I want the kids to feel this, to know it from hands-on living, and not be isolated in a tiny commune in Hawaii worshiping Buddha and not given Christmas presents and stockings because the mother no longer observes Christian holidays, as she told the kids a few weeks before Christmas. I don't want Cristina being turned into an actress or model as is her mother's dream by someone other than herself. I want them to have a stable life, good friends, lots of everyday adventures, a good education, their own rooms, their own toys, their own animals to care for, their own one-place to call home and feel it down deep.

Zachary told us, "I don't know where I live." Cristina told us in Maui, "I am alone." And when she looked at us the last day we saw her there was no light in her eyes. We want to bring that light back.

So since Bruce Willis and Arnold are not available and the Montana Militia is badly organized for an invasion landing on Maui we have decided to go with Gordon Cruse in San Diego who is the guy who handled the 1993 modification of the original court document. He also sits as a judge twice a week and has the reputation of being the best family lawyer in town. He is called by his associates the lawyer from hell and if the MOM ever got him as generalissimo the country would be in for a run for its money. We are going for sole custody, forget this shared custody that she has made a mockery of since the central tenet or this arrangement is making joint decisions involving the kids. It'll cost ten grand for starters but there's a good chance we'll get temporary custody of them in a week or two and keep them until a court decision is reached. For her part Cai will probably get Lori to pay for her lawyer. That's someone called Katherine Bassad-or-something who lives next door to her who called me up one morning at our motel south of Kihea and told me to have a check for $1000 made out to Cai that day and then send her my tax returns and investment portfolio when I got home so she could figure out what I'd be paying from now on. Sort of like a mouthful of scalding coffee before your lips are ready.

Why do I want to go out to a lonesome island with my wife and serve legal papers to a parent who is down and out and is guilty of nothing more than loving her kids and wanting to raise them as best she can? I dunno, just a mean SOB I guess.

Well, Dusty, you riled me up enough where I flew off to be with them and deal with this thing head on, but I'll tell you something, this Cai is no damsel in distress, she is smart and dangerous, she is more manipulative, fearsome and vengeful than any Medeo or Medusa I've seen in movies or read about. She wrote the book. And as far as talk and attack I'm out of my class, but this lawyer is head of the class in this and she can learn a few things from him, and I'll take it from there. Just because we get the chicklets back the war is only begun and that's where I go raging about stripped to the waist carrying stone axes and belting blood curdling war cries whenever she comes within vibratory-pickup distance of us. Gordon can outmaneuver her and get the kids back to school, the rest is up to me.

Funny, I've not really seen the town at all in the last few weeks, not since December 26th, but I see the people when they want to be seen and they are good and their eyes show they care and feel deeply what is going on. but they don't make a moan out of it, you know? They just are there for us. As are you.

On the wall in front of me is a photo Marilyn got for me a few years ago that shows a grizzly bear at the bottom of a waterfall with its mouth open and a salmon jumping into it. It reminds me of a dream I had last night where I am distractedly fishing the sky using a small bird as bait and a fish has taken the hook and I am reeling in the fish but it is fighting smartly so I start to swing the rod around and around the fish going in circles, trying to make it dizzy so it'll come in easier and this works and the fish is coming in and I see it is all wrapped around with the ten pound filament, almost cocooned in it. I take it by the gills with two fingers and strip the windings of plastic line off. It is huge and beautiful, a six pound spotted trout with mossy green-to-olive drab color and it is kicking. I look to the side and see a small fiberglass pool there and my friend Frank is in there fully clothed and I say to him, Frank, you're a seal, right?, I'm going to throw this fish to you so it doesn't get away, I can't hold it any longer, and Frank becomes a seal and is barking, I'm ready to toss the fish to him but stop. Awake I figure out that this fish is my soul and it has been way out there for a long time and is finally home. The pool and the seal are me.

What have you been up to? How is the Letters From Montana going? How is Kathleen? Is it the millennia yet and she is sitting down to write us?

Love to you ol' Polvs,

Dirty Harry

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